> A dog's diary vs. a cat's diary.
>
A dog's diary:
7 am - Oh boy! A walk! My favorite!
8 am - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9 am - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
Noon - Oh boy! The yard! My favorite!
2 pm - Oh boy! A car ride! My favorite!
3 pm - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
4 pm - Oh boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
6 pm - Oh boy! Welcome home Mom! My favorite!
7 pm - Oh boy! Welcome home Dad! My favorite!
8 pm - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9 pm - Oh boy! Tummy rubs on the couch! My favorite!
11 pm - Oh boy! Sleeping in my people's bed! My favorite!
A cat's diary:
Day 183 of my captivity. My captors continued to taunt me with
bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I
am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the
hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from clawing the
furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another house plant. Today my attempt to kill
my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost
succeeded - must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to
disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to
vomit on their favorite chair - must try this on their bed. Decapitated
a mouse and brought them the headless body in an attempt to make them
aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear in their
hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was.
Hmmm, not working according to plan. There was some sort of gathering
of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event.
However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More important, I
overheard that my confinement was due to my powers of inducing
"allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage. I am
convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is
routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously
a half-wit. The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant and
speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due
to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured. But
I can wait; it is only a matter of time.
