A Labor (Day) of Love

Looking for love this summer but having no luck so far? Don't let your quest
for love fizzle in the doldrums. Instead, take action! Here are five tips that
will improve your chances of dating someone new by Labor Day.

1. Flirt till it hurts. "At least three times a day, stop
someone in the name of love," suggests Debbie Nigro, chief executive girlfriend
of www.FirstWivesWorld.com. "Smile and give him or her a genuine compliment.
Why? When you smile, you always look your best. That person feels good, you feel
good. Plus, the more love you give, the more love comes back to you." And just
getting comfortable talking to new people is a good confidence-builder in and of
itself—even if nothing comes of it right away.

Extra
credit: Take the initiative and go for the ask. "If someone at the
beach catches your eye, don't stop with casual chit-chat, ask that person out,"
says Chris Pacetti of Wilmington, DE. "This goes for women, too. Guys feel like
a million bucks when a woman does the asking."

2. Change your
focus. "Make a list of the positive attributes you want to find in
someone else, and then take an honest inventory of yourself," counsels Lynda
Bishop, a life success coach in Phoenix. "What do you need to do in order to be
a good match for the person you want to meet?" Focusing on what your ideal date
might want in you makes you more likely to attract that kind of person.

3. Go where the boys or girls are. Pursue a hobby
that's mostly pursued by the opposite sex. "You'll have prime pickings due to
the gender disparity right off the bat," says Lisa Lockwood, author of
Embrace Reinvention: The Secret to Your Success. For guys, that might
mean trying yoga or a crafts class. For women, it might mean spending more time
at the Home Depot or pursuing a manly sport. "When I was a police officer and
started dating a new man, he was extremely impressed when I invited him to a gun
range (which was packed with guys, by the way)," notes Lockwood. "He got to
watch me in action and I got to show him hands-on how to shoot for the first
time."

Extra credit: Get more involved in a hobby you
already have. "When it's hot as blazes, I love to go to the movies to cool off,
but it's not the best venue for meeting someone," says Bette Anthony of Seattle.
"So I joined a movie group sponsored by the library. I not only got to talk
about the movies I'd seen, but I met a guy with similar taste and we started
dating."

4. Study up. Finding a "relationship mentor"
can recharge your romantic pursuits, says Lori Marcoux, co-founder of
Extraordinary Learning, a Seattle-based personal effectiveness consultancy.
"Pick someone in your life who you think is doing an excellent job being in a
relationship with another person and emulate this person's actions and attitudes
that you think are positive. If you recognize specific traits in a person you
admire or respect, these traits are familiar to you because you have them within
you. Focusing on further developing traits you admire in another person is a
constructive method for improving actions and attitudes. That in turn can help
produce positive results."

Extra credit: Ask those
trusted people to set you up with someone they think you might click with…or to
share ways they'd recommend you expand your social network.

5.
Work the Internet. If you're not already looking for love online, now's
the time to start. "I hit the wall last summer and almost gave up trying to find
a date," recalls Steve Johnson of Boston. "A friend encouraged me to post a
profile and I reluctantly did. I was surprised to get all the responses I
received and happily have found myself doing a lot of dating."

Extra credit: Don't forget to post pictures of you
pursuing activities you love best. Profiles with photos get several times the
responses of profiles that don't.

Now you know that being a little more
proactive this summer can help you find the love you want by fall. So don't
sweat it, but do get out there and get circulating!